


you're on your own

by hollyhobbit101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s12e01 Keep Calm and Carry On, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sam Winchester, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 01:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12830844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyhobbit101/pseuds/hollyhobbit101
Summary: For the first time in his life, Sam is completely alone.





	you're on your own

Sam leaned his head against the rough wooden railing and closed his eyes. Both of his legs were on fire and sending sharp tendrils of pain up and down his body, but he felt numb to all of it. Whatever drug they'd given him to make him hallucinate his greatest failures was beginning to wear off but the voices of all those people he'd gotten killed still echoed in his mind. It was mostly Dean, but sometimes others joined in - so far he'd heard Kevin, Charlie and Jess.

_Your fault._

_We're dead because of you._

_You could have stopped this._

_Your fault._

_Your fault._

_Your fault._

* * *

On and on it went, torturing him, driving him insane. He curled his hands into tight fists and the split skin on his left hand screamed but it was nothing compared to the sheer agony of hearing the people he loved telling him everything he knew to be truth. He'd been tortured like this before, when Cas broke the wall in his head, but it had never been this personal. None of that had been real, but this time he was seeing things that had happened, things that he had failed to prevent. And somehow... Somehow that made it hurt all the more.

* * *

He didn't have the energy to protest when Toni and her men came down to manhandle him back into that chair. He was too tired to struggle when they snapped the restraints back into place. He couldn't bring himself to care when the torture started up again. This time it was Toni dragging a blade up and down his skin. Somewhere in the back of his mind he dimly wondered what had happened to the other woman but he was mostly just hoping that Toni might slip, might slice his neck open for real. That way he could die and join Dean in the Empty. That way he could stop the voices in his head.

His only regret was that he didn't have the courage to do it himself.


End file.
